The Three Massive Mistakes That Are Killing Your Love Life Part 1
Letting Cavemen Run The Bedroom
Whenever I teach advanced sexual skills, eventually some man will ask -
“What’s wrong with a good old fashioned fuck?”
This is Cave Man talking. Cave Man running the bedroom does not make for great sex.
Caveman's agenda is simple: Fight off the other males. Grab a female...
Cave Man is our basic biological programming. We may think we are sophisticated 21st century men, but we have the genes of our prehistoric ancestors of 2 million years ago. Caveman's agenda is simple: Fight off the other males. Grab a female. Hold her down long enough that you can impregnate her before she gets away or another male pulls you off.
He operates on what I call the Frustration Cycle: Feel horny. Look for an opportunity to release. Release. Feel calm. Start all over again. This is the Frustration Cycle because, except for a brief explosion of pleasure followed perhaps by a nap, most of the time Caveman IS wound up trying to get his next release.
Caveman shows up as the man whose life is ruled by the Frustration Cycle
Caveman shows up as the man whose life is ruled by the Frustration Cycle, like Dave who wastes hours on internet porn searching for the right clip to jerk off to.
He is the man like Carl, so focused on his own gratification that he rushes clumsily through foreplay, gets over excited and goes at it like a jack hammer in his haste to get to the "important bit".
He is the man like like Danny for whom sex is just a hunger to be satisfied, who never notices or really cares that his partner is switch off and unsatisfied.
Cave Man is not interested in pleasure. Cave Man is not interested in intimacy. Cave Man is not interested in sensuality. Cave Man is not really interested in his partner. Caveman sex is, as the 17th century philosopher Hobbes put it “nasty, brutish and short".
Beyond the basic Caveman urge to reproduce, sex is a learned skill
Cave Man is sex on auto pilot. But nature doesn’t really do it. Beyond that basic Cave Man urge to reproduce, sex is a learned skill. How much time and energy have you really put into learning that skill?
Let’s be clear, we need Cave Man. He is our basic libido. But we don’t want him to run the show! Cave Man sex is junk food to assuage hunger not a gourmet dinner to be savoured.
What’s wrong with a food old fashioned fuck? Nothing as such. But if it is the limit of our repertoire, or our fall back position, we are missing out on so much.
What's The Answer? The Ancient Chinese Got It Absolutely Right
The Chinese Taoists had a lot to say about sex. Above all they viewed sex as an art form. Something to be studied, practiced and ultimately mastered as a skill. In ancient China a man would set out to master the art of sex as a primary goal in life.
Skill in bedroom arts was as much a requirement for gentleman as was swordsmanship, calligraphy and literature. There were sexual “kungfu” masters just as there were martial arts kungfu masters (kungfu mean “skill” in Chinese). A man would willingly pay enormous sums of money to learn the secrets of a Master Lover.
A 2000 year old chinese sex manual precisely defines the MASTER LOVER...
"He is first of all a man of honour who knows himself well.
He is considerate to his woman and sensitive to her arousal.
He is fully present in his body during love making and he has consummate skill in the arts of caressing, kissing and thrusting."
(From The Classic of the Plain Girl)
Above all becoming a Master Lover means expressing our “big self” or highest potential through sex, not just our animal nature. Cultivating our inner master lover will keep Caveman under control so we can enjoy lovemaking as a magnificent banquet full of delicious and exotic dishes to be delight our senses.
So here is my MASTER LOVER tip
SLOW DOWN. Sex is not a race!
Man is like FIRE, quick to burn but soon exhuasted
Woman is like WATER, slow to boil but stays hot for a long time.
Slow down. Be less focused on your own ejaculation and "relief". Enjoy the ride as well as the destination. If you learn to let your fire burn long and slow, you will make a lot more heat. Give your lover time to come to the boil and her slow burn will become a wild fire.
Become a MASTER LOVER
Do you need to bring your Caveman under control? Do you feel the call to the path of the Master Lover?
Whether you want help to overcome sexual problems, or you want to simply be a great lover, have a FREE confidential, no commitment coaching call with me on Skype and discover how my Master Lover programme could be the key to unlocking the love life you dream of. Click the link to book your call.
Natural Virility Expert
I am a men's coach and specialist in Natural Virility dedicated to empowering men to
I do one to one coaching and write books and articles empowering men to feel great physically, emotionally and sexually.
I offer natural treatments for erectile dysfunction, andropause, premature ejaculation etc. I show men how to enjoy really great sex. I counsel men on relationship issues, porn addiction, masculinity and more.