Five essential tantric sex positions for ecstatic lovemaking - Nick Hudis

Five Essential Tantric Sex Positions for Ecstatic Lovemaking

By Nick Hudis

author of How to Make Love to a Woman with your Soul

Tantric sex is not about technique, it's not about positions.  It's certainly not about the contortionism you sometimes see in books!  So what are tantric sex positions?  Why do they matter? Which positions should you know?

Tantric sex happens when two embodied human ​souls come together in total presence and openness and through the ecstasy of their sexual union awaken to union with the Divine.  It's a spontaneous, flowing and utter radical expression of love and intimacy at the deepest level.

But tantric sex is also an art, a consciously creative weaving of form. The Taoist tradition (closely related to Tantra) speaks of sexual "gongfu" or sexual mastery.  Mastery of any art form calls for skill and technique.  A couple's journey into tantric sex will be greatly aided by sharing a pallet of colours, both vivid and subtle, to paint their masterpiece. Being able to enjoy the play of positions during lovemaking is a part of that pallet. Tantric sex is skillful sex.

Tantric sex is about spiritual transcendence but it is also about energetic transformation and this is where positions are important. The positioning of a couple's bodies in relation to each other and to the energetic fields of the earth and the cosmos can create the powerful vibrational resonances, alignments or polarities that are the energetic foundation of spiritual union.

The Taoists particularly understood this.  In ancient China, sex "doctors" would prescribe specific love making positions to balance the body's qi and heal illness.

The foundation of the human energy system is the Central Channel which runs through the core of the body from the genitals to the head.  Along the Central Channel energy centres or Chakras function to embody particular human potentials.  (seven in classical Tantra, five in Tibetan Tantra and a mere three in Taoism!). 

The positions used in tantric love making help to open and align these centres to the point where our full Divine potiential is embodied.

For each of the tantric love making positions I am going to describe, I'll explain exactly how they affect the Central Channel and chakras.

Aligning of the central channel and chakras in tantric lovemaking

The positions I describe in this article are not exotic or esoteric.  They will probably already be part of the repertoire of most loving couples.  They do not require feats of agility or amazing strength and flexibility. Mainly they embody and express deep, tender intimacy. They offer you a solid foundation for the energetic work within tantra. They are a starting point from which a couple can explore the soul dance of tantric lovemaking.

​These sex positions are by no means the only ones appropriate to tantra.  An adventurous and inventive couple will discover a multitude of possibilities and variations. Some positions will suit some couples better than others.  Body shape and size, overall and intimate, will have a bearing here.  And please do not feel you have to work though the lovemaking positions as a routine.  Let them arise spontaneously from the flow of your love play. 

The value of these positions is not limited to penetrative sex.  These positions are beautiful ways simply to cuddle and be close.  You can also use them for tantric massage.​

So here they are.  Five essential tantric sex positions for ecstatic lovemaking.

Essential Tantric Sex Position 1

Yab Yum

Key themes: Union, oneness

Yab Yum is the "signature" position of tantra.  It's the one you see in all the ancient Indian and Tibetan iconography. Yab Yum is a Tibetan word that literally means "Father-Mother".  Symbolically it represents the union and indivisibility of wisdom and compassion, emptiness and form, consciousness and life force, yin and yang.

Shiva, the man, sits cross-legged​.  Shakti sits in his lap.  The couple embrace.

Yab Yum is perhaps the most intimate of positions and the most aligned. Intertwined like a yin yang symbol and touching through their tender vulnerable fronts, Masculine and Feminine are united in perfect balance.  the two Central Channels merge into one. The lingham (penis) is drawn fully into the yoni (vagina) and the couple are melded together by gravity - the embrace of the Earth herself.  Deep connection can be felt simultaneously at the sex centre, the heart centre and the brain centre. With both partners upright, their Central Channels are also perfectly aligned with the vertical Earth-Cosmos axis. The couple are literally plugged into the ecstatic yin-yang dance of the universe itself.

Often this will be a position for the quieter, stiller moments of a tantric lovemaking session.  A time to savour the subtle energy currents and tender merging into one.  However a surprising amount of pelvic movement is open to both man and woman and at times Yab Yum can be intense with erotic fire.​

Often the energy will seem to cycle between the two lovers.  At other times there can be a powerful upsurge of energy leading to blissful "heart-gasms" and brain-gasms for both lovers.​

Essential Tantric Sex Position 2

Shiva worships Shakti

​Key themes: Devotion, receptivity

There are many legends about the total devotion of Shiva, the Sacred Masculine principle to Shakti, the Divine Feminine principle.  In one story, Shiva is so absorbed in making love to Shakti that he neglects his duties as a God.  Eventually Brahma, Vishnu and a host of other deities seek him out in his bed chamber to demand that he helps them with a cosmic crisis.  However Shiva  remains in total single pointed devotion to his beloved. He does not notice the huge crowd who are now watching! This position expresses beautifully a man's love for, and devotion to his woman.

Shiva kneels with his legs spread wide to form a firm base.  Shakti lies supine​ with her thighs draped over his.

​For the man, this position offers a feast of delight for his eyes and his hands.  Shakti is spread out before him yielding and open.  Every nuance of her body is displayed, her curves, her colouration and the texture of her skin.  His hands can reach everywhere in flowing continuous waves: her eyes and lips, her breasts, her belly, her yoni, even her legs and feet can be reached with tender, devoted touch.

Penetration, if it happens, will not be so deep, but the position offers a special ​opportunity for the man to "play the lute strings" as the Taoists call it - using his lingham as a magic wand to massage, worship and pleasure her labia, clitoris and the other outer parts of yoni.

Energetically, the man is active and expressing his full power. His posture is strong and stable and being upright  he is plugged into the Earth-Cosmos axis. He will particularly channel yang energy from the cosmos down through his Central Channel and lingham into his beloved.​

For the woman, this position is all about receptivity, surrender and opening​.  This is both a gift and a challenge for her. The call is to be like a flower opening in the bright morning sunshine of Shiva's love and devotion.  If she can answer that call and lie before her beloved totally open, totally revealed in her beauty and vulnerability, the way is open for her to surrender ever more fully to wild, mysterious, ever-changing flow of her feminine sexual essence.

But the challenge for her is that she can only be in that place of surrender when she feels truly trusting of Shiva and held by him.  This position may bring up old wounds and fears to be experienced, acknowledged and released. 

Energetically she is "unplugged".  Energy will tend to spread out from the central channel often flowing in amorphous waves throughout her body.  For the woman, this is a receptive posture but it is not passive.  She has much freedom to express the energetic waves as physical movement.   

Essential Tantric Sex Position 3

Shakti Sky Dancing on the Coloumn of Fire

​Key themes: Flow, stillness

 According to my teacher, the late Dr Shakti Malan, Sky Dancing is the free and spontaneous circling and spiraling movement that occurs in a woman's body when aroused and awakened feminine sexual energy enters her central channel and rises to her heart and brain (1). The circles and spirals express the flowing quality of Shakti in contrast to the more linear energy of Shiva. The actual name Sky Dancer comes from Tibetan tantra and refers to a Dakini or female divinity.

Shiva lies supine while Shakti sit upright on his lingham.  The classic "woman on top" position. 

Sky dancing as Shakti Malan describes it is not something you do.  It something that happens spontaneously if the right conditions are there.  According to Shakti Malan, Sky Dancing calls for a certain level of spiritual realization and openness on the part of the woman. ​

This woman on top position ​supports the activation of a woman's Sky Dance. She is in her full power, free to move and plugged into the Earth-Cosmos axis. She has total control over how her yoni is stimulated and can access every subtle nuance of pleasure. She is able to give herself completely to her sexual flow and deeply embody her Divinity. The energy fills her Central Channel opening the heart and brain centres. Towering over the supine Shiva her whole being declares "See me, feel me, I am the Goddess, I am the Great Mystery, I am Love, I am Life".

And what of Shiva?  In one sense he is passive​, lying supine with limited scope for movement and unplugged from the universe.  It is a great gift to the man to experience this receptive state particularly if he is carrying old programming that men should be dominant sexually. In this love making position, the man can learn so much for, through her Sky Dancing movements, his beloved is showing him exactly how her yoni likes to be pleasured!

In another sense, the man is fully plugged in.  With his body grounded on the earth his lingham rises vertically towards the sky​.  He literally becomes the Earth-Cosmos axis.  He becomes the spaciousness in which Shakti Sky Dances.

The invitation is for the man to actually become Lingham. In many legends and stories, the Shiva Lingham is represented as an immense column of fire and light​ linking earth and heaven.  For a man to experience himself as Shiva's column of fire he must surrender his small ego self to the immensity of his Divine nature. To do this he contact the deep stillness and pure presence that is the his masculine sexual essence.

Essential Tantric Sex Position 4

Scissoring

Key themes: Balance, bonding

Legs!  Don't legs sometimes get a bit neglected in lovemaking? In the scissor position you get to appreciate the beauty and sexiness of each other's legs.  As the foundations of the body, our legs are strongly connected the Earth energy.  In the Taoist tradition the legs are also seen as reservoirs of sexual energy which can flood the body when the sluice gates are opened.

The lovers lie joined at the genitals, legs intertwined but with their bodies aligned in opposite directions: head to toe, toe to head.  

There is a little skill required to flow smoothly into the Scissor.  Here is one possible flow of movement. From a man on top position, the woman bends her knees and raises her legs so they are over her partner.  He turns onto his side so his body is at right angles to hers (that's a nice position in itself).  It is then easy for him to turn further and slip his upper leg over hers and into the Scissor without loosing the lingham-yoni connection.

Actually the Scissor is about far more than legs. There is a lot of intimate body contact, and although penetration will not be so deep, there is the potential for a lot of stimulation of the outer parts and surrounding areas of both lovers' genitals. 

Energetically, the two central channels are joined at the root and extend in opposite directions creating one "super" channel along which energy can flow in either direction. The meeting point at the sex centre creates a strong nexus of Earth energy.  Upper body and lower body are joined and balanced between the lovers evoking a special feeling of bonding together.

Essential Tantric Sex Position 5

Spooning

Key themes: Protection, letting go

In a lecture on the Tantric Consort Relationship, Reginald Ray, a respected teacher of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism, speaks of spooning as an essential practice for a committed tantric couple (2).  I agree wholeheartedly. This is one of the gentlest, tenderest positions a couple can share. A client told me a most touching story, that her grandparents revealed that they spooned naked every night right into their 80s and regarded this a foundation of their marriage.  I often think of that wonderful couple.

The lovers lie on their sides, one behind the other.  The one behind enfolds the one in front in whole body embrace.

Although penetration and movement are possible and pleasurable in this position, it's real beauty is as a quiet resting position.  A deep feeling of acceptance can be felt where lingham and yoni rest in contact without penetration​.

The essence of this position is protection and being protected.  The lover on the outside​ enfolds the one on the inside in an energetic cocoon in which they can relax deeply and let go into the deeper layers of their being and indeed further into the stillness that is the ground of  being.  As they drop deeper into themselves, the one being cocooned may touch sensitive, painful places within themselves and has gift that they can be felt and released from a place of being totally held, totally accepted. Tears of melting and release are common when spooning goes deep.

From the lover on the outside, it is not just about being the protector.  In holding the beloved in their vulnerability, they are also  holding and feeling their own tender vulnerability.  There is self loving here too - the outer mirrors the inner.

Closing thoughts

​I wish you well on your tantric journey and hope that it will be filled with love and joy and lead to a fuller embodiment of your true being.  I invite you to explore these five lovemaking positions, with curiosity, playfulness and above awareness for ultimately it is not techniques and methods that open the gateway of Awakening, but the quality of presence we bring to our lovemaking, and indeed to every precious moment of our lives.

​This article is a taster of my forthcoming book, How to Make Love to a Woman with your Soul.  This book is an inspiring and practical guide to sacred sexuality for heterosexual men.  I will be releasing the book, free of charge as a series of blog posts throughout 2018 before publishing it in its entirety. 

To be sure you receive all the chapters and don't miss out on this groundbreaking book, click on the button below and subscribe to How to Make Love to a Woman with your Soul.​

References

​1) Shakti Malan, How To Be A Sky Dancer.  This was an article on the Shakti Malan Academy website but sadly it no longer seems to be available.

2) Reginald A Ray​, The Tantric Consort.  Awakening Through Relationship.  Available from Sounds True

Nick Hudis

Mentor, transformational coach and author​

"Holding  a strong centre ground between life coach, natural health consultant and sexuality coach I work with the whole man, guiding you through the truly big challenges in life:  Identity, purpose and confidence, work, relationships, sex, health and wellbeing." 

"Read about how a shy Mr Nice Guy became a counselor to other men, and the five vital lessons I learned along the way."  

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