My father, Peter Hudis (1925-2008) was a deeply spiritual and creative man. An artist, craftsman, poet mountaineer and sailor.
I worshiped him and believed I could never equal his creative genius.
He was also, later in life, a Valium addict, had a severe anxiety disorder and when his "black moods" were upon him an irascible tyrant. During my teenage, he was emotionally distant as I made my troubled passage into manhood. For years I harboured grief in my heart for the idyllic father-son relationship we had when I was little boy that vanished when he caved in under a massive nervous breakdown.
That's past now, and today is Father's Day, a day in which we celebrate, often in the sentimental ways, our fathers.
But what about those whose father was not there for them? Those whose reaction to father is, "I am never going to let that bastard in again!" or "thank goodness he's gone." What about those men like my client Rick, himself a grown man with a family who crumbles in fear when he hears his father knock on the door?
And what about those men whose father has gone and they simply miss him?
Father energy has been leaking out of our world for a long time now.
Father energy has been leaking out of our world for a long time now. It started with the dawn of the industrial age. For countless generations before that fathers and sons had lived and worked alongside each other and the magic and art of being a man was passed from one generation to the next by osmosis.
But then came the mills and the mines and the men trudged off in the dawn light for long days of hard labour to return, perhaps the worse for beer, just for food and bed. The raising of sons became women's work and the beautiful nourishing relationship between fathers and sons was fractured.
Two world wars in this century severed this vital linkage even more deeply as men returned from the fighting with their hearts locked closed unable to share the horrors they had witnessed… or perpetrated.
Which brings us to the twenty first century where father energy has been literally emasculated. Cut off from the the life giving well of the deep masculine, men have not risen to the challenge of feminism with their own renewal and awakening. Boys grow up mistrusting and rejecting their own power and authority becoming either passive Mr Nice Guys or trumped up heroes and bullies who have never made the passage into true manhood... and those father-starved sons becomes fathers in their turn.
Again and again in my mentoring work with men the fundamental issue, the core wound we come up against is the loss of the nourishment of the father line.
If men are to claim their true power, the power of the mature masculine, of the deep masculine, we must heal the father wound.
I healed my own wound, through deep inward reflection, writing and many edgy and painful sessions with my spiritual teachers. This is a work so many of us are called to do.
So on this Father's Day I would like to offer you a practice that will connect you with the wellspring of father energy and help to heal the wounds that have passed from father to son down the male line for countless generations. The practice is simply called Healing the Father Wound.
This may not be the complete healing, there is much forgiving and letting go of mistrust and resentment to do, but for those taking their first steps on this, oh so necessary, journey, this practice can be an initiation. For those who are already travelling the road back to the father let this practice be a road sign that your destination is nearer.
What wounds do you carry from your father?
Click on the button below to access the Healing The Father Wound Meditation
Mentor, transformational coach and author
"Holding a strong centre ground between life coach, natural health consultant and sexuality coach I work with the whole man, guiding you through the truly big challenges in life: Identity, purpose and confidence, work, relationships, sex, health and wellbeing."
"So I've got a string of letters after my name and 25 years in the field.... It helps being qualified and experienced. But the most valuable thing I can share is what I have learned the hard way in my own life journey from shy Mr Nice Guy to empowered King in my own realm."