a life well lived

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What is self-cultivation?

Beyond our biological drives... Beyond the pursuit of pleasure... Beyond personal gain... Beyond vague notions of spirituality... what gives meaning  to life? The great wisdom traditions say it is to develop our full potential for good in the world, in our communities and in our relationships.

They call it Self-Cultivation

Part philosophy, part psychology, part spirituality, part craft skill. Self-cultivation is an art 

- the art of a life well lived


The first step is to cultivate a solid life philosophy which expresses the greatest good you aspire to. Explore your place in the great web of existence, clarify the meaning and purpose of your life and commit to clear values and ethics to guide your choices and actions. 


The next step is to cultivate your powers of self-awareness and discrimination. Truly see into the nature of things, understand your thoughts, emotions and impulses and free yourself from unhelpful habits and patterns.


The third step is to cultivate the self-discipline and good habits that will allow you to act in world appropriately, skillfully and effectively. However much philosophy and self-awareness you have cultivated, it is your actions in the world and your relationships with others where your self-cultivation becomes real.

Who Am I?

I am Nicholas Hudis an author and mentor dedicated to the path of self-cultivation. After 25 years  as a therapist/coach, I see that the need is not for therapy but for cultivating the skill to live wisely, ethically and purposefully.  I am no "sage" but the wisdom of Confucius, the Buddha and the Stoic philosophers guides me on a daily basis. My desire is to share this inspiration, through my writings and personal mentoring, and make a difference to your life too.

Nicholas Hudis

To change the world, change your community. To change your community, change your relationships. To change your relationships, change yourself. To change yourself, change your heart (Confucius)


Few of us can apprentice with a true master of self-cultivation. Figures from the past like Marcus Aurelius or Confucius serve as role models but a personal mentor is invaluable if not essential. 

My own work as a mentor evolved from being a therapist. My approach reflects my life-long interest in Eastern philosophy, spiritual practice and the martial arts. I have particular experience with life and career choices, relationships and sexuality and long term health issues. You can read about the influences and inspirations I bring to mentoring here.

The mentoring relationship is different to therapy or counselling being wider in scope, more collaborative and more action focused. A mentor draws on their own experience to guide, offer insights, teach and at times challenge you.

If you are interested in mentoring with me, follow the link below and complete the online form.  I will get back to you to arrange an initial chat.

The unexamined life is not worth living (Socrates)

Philosophy and Psychology Articles

If not now, when?
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Nick, do not indulge these feelings!
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Meditation and Spirituality Articles

The Buddha didn’t turn water into wine
The Buddha didn't turn water into wineThis is not a story about Buddhism or for Buddhists.After all I am not[...]
A complete waste of time?
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Is Enlightenment the means rather the end?
Is enlightenment the means rather than the end? I've spent the greater part of my adult life believing that my[...]

Men's Work Articles

Craftsman, Warrior, Yogi – Archetypes of the Conscious Masculine
Craftsman, Warrior, YogiArchetypes of the Conscious Masculine​ In this article I will describe the three archetypes of the conscious masculine,[...]
Father’s Day – Free Meditation Download
Free GuidedMeditationHealing The Father Wound​ ​My father, Peter Hudis (1925-2008) was a deeply spiritual and creative man. An artist, craftsman,[...]

Sexuality and Relationships Articles

Isn’t she beautiful!
Isn't she beautiful! Isn’t she beautiful!Totally alive, totally open, totally present, totally in her power, totally in her sexuality.She is[...]
Tea ceremony and sex????
Tea ceremony and sex???? ​In an oriental tea ceremony, the one serving does so with full attention, engaging all their[...]
Sitting in the Fire of Relationship
Sitting in the Fire of Relationship​On our recent New Year retreat, the subject of Tantra came up in conversation.It always[...]

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Copyright 2019 by Nicholas Hudis